Fragment 30 Insight

Since you’ve read the Fragment, you can likely see why I consider it the most controversial one to date. It’s one thing to develop a character over the course of time, which I did, but it’s another thing entirely to get rid of an undesired trait. There was definitely no way around this confrontation though, so I wrote it the best way plausible.

To summarize everything, something had to be done to correct the problem, but also give Kiyohime a happy ending she deserves as a tragic servant.

The Mad Enhancement had to be removed if there was to be any hope of this happening, and thankfully I already set that precedent a long time ago. That elixir ain’t cheap though. Another controversy in this chapter is Gabrielle’s willingness to go behind another servant’s back to keep the peace. If you read this carefully enough, and aren’t a skimmer, you likely could tell how intricate I was in the specifics. She did it willingly, but she also didn’t do it without regrets. She did it because it had to be done.

It can be argued that being a Yandere is Kiyohime’s defining factor, which is exactly why this was controversial. But I didn’t remove the definitive trait of a character entirely, which is the important part. I simply toned it down because the mad enhancement is gone. She still has the lingering crush on Gudao she’s trying to get over, but she’s willing to move on in hopes of finding someone she can truly be dedicated to… except this time, she’s waiting for him to make the first move.

If anything, I would argue her mad enhancement was holding her back. She can grow and try new things in hopes Gudao falls in love with her, yes, but she’s not forming strong friendships when all she can talk about it him. She’s been wandering the halls, creeping out nearly the entire population, and over obsessing over the master to a very unhealthy extent. She’s literally a prisoner of her legend, just like Dantes was. She can still be a very dedicated/ jealous/ possessive individual without being over obsessed to the point of killing intent, which is exactly what was changed.

The Gorgon sisters were the best bet for making Kiyohime a better person while keeping her the way she is. Honestly, there was nothing wrong with the berserker except her one absolute flaw which was her clingy over obsession with the master. You remove that, which is completely viable with the mad enhancement, and she’s suddenly one hell of a character. Hell, she’s even the wife material she believes herself to be, and only really needs advice on some fine-tuning etiquette.

You can make a lot of back and forth arguments on the philosophies the Gorgon sisters taught Kiyohime, or more specifically the one lecture mentioned. The point of that is, it’s from their perspective. Of course the man-hating goddesses are going to have a pro-female point of view. Of course they’re going to want the man to make all the approaches and effort, because they’re goddesses who have only had stuff done for them. Again, it’s all in perspective.

But another important part is her renewed friendship with Tamamo. Their rivalry essentially dissolved with the revelation of the relationship, so there was nothing to stand in the way of it again… except themselves. I had Kiyohime determined to renew it, because it would be true to her character. She’s determined and resolute, so she would do it if Tamamo was still uncertain if Kiyohime would be comfortable or not with the idea (which she was).

…and what better re-bonding session than attacking a faux male target? Tamamo’s signature Polygamist Castration Fist just had to make a showing, even before any sort of summer Fragment appeared.

With all that, I felt I could settle the design by having it end on New Year’s Eve. The whole resolution thing applies, of course. Though Kiyohime didn’t get her wish for Gudao, perhaps someone else will come down the line. Until then, I gave her plenty of support and newfound friendships to make her happy now that she’s no longer creepily stalking the master.

Gabrielle shows how far she’s willing to go to keep the peace and ensure the best for everyone, which is much farther and more controversial than Gudao would ever consider. It serves to separate them further, but at the same time she acknowledges greatly what she did was wrong through words and actions. Some may come to hate Gabrielle for it, but her actions were no unrealistic for the situation. What Kiyohime decides her punishment will be with the tickets is anyone’s guess, but she knows she deserves it; Why else would she give them to her?

Until next time! As a small apology, because I actually did the teaser number wrong, I will reveal next Chapter’s servant.

Serenity’s was supposed to be 32, not 31 (next fragment). Fragment 31 stars Jekyll.